Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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