If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
