Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
