life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Come on in and take your pants off
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