Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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