hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
