You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
and she was petting her beer can
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
