woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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