You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
