I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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