We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
