btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
