Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
