Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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