Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Holy sore nipples Batman
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
