Do you still have your period?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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