I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
