woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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