"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
