3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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