that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
