Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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