just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
