the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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