I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
