OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why are your pants in the freezer?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
