Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
