It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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