How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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