we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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