He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
