You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
