who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
