so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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