Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
smell my finger.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
