no. you can't hotbox the world.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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