Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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