hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
