Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
