so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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