Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
