Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
