He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
