i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
