you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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