Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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