The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
