How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
