I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
