so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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