I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So vagazzling was a success
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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