1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
