do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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