Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
