My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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